I have now lived in The Netherlands for about one year now and feel it is the right time to share my observations and experiences. Both good and sadly bad.

It has been a very interesting experience. And hopefully many of you will find it interesting to read as you might be from The Netherlands, you’re also a foreigner living here or have plans coming for a holiday or even also work here.

Instead of piling it all up in one big text I’ll try to keep my observations organised in paragraphs, and that I’ll start off with the bad ones first.

And please keep in mind, these observations are based on my own experiences as I do my best at steering clear of hearsay.
And to all my Dutch friends, you have done me nothing wrong so don’t take it personally; as we all have our fair share of people who make the rest of us seem raving mad.

The train ride from hell
This is the first observation I made that still boggles my mind. When it comes to taking the train the Dutch have a really strange culture, attitude or what ever you want to call it.
First you have what I call is the greeting line. This is when the train come to the train station. People gather in a thick pile in front of the train doors, but leaves a small opening for people to get of the train first (barely). Of course, it always some sorry sod who is a bit too slow to leave the train who have to fight through the wave of people pushing to get in.
Second you have the me first crazies. They do what ever to get on the train. No matter what. They will push to get first on the train and off the train. You will also find them when they are getting off the train, as they tend to get up and walk to the doors several minutes before the train reaches the station.
Third you have what I call the hunters. They will walk from end to end of the train even if the train ride is 5 minutes long just to get a seat they want. And they will push through the small corridors of the train instead of just standing for 5 short minutes.

The mobile boombox
I’ve been told this is something that is becoming common in Sweden too, bit I have only one source. What I’m talking about is those who for some reason love playing their usually bad music through their mobile phone. The mobile phone speaker is small and generally made for simple sounds to allert that you now have a sms or someone is calling you, not to sadly be used as a boombox. It’s more or less playing music only through a tweeter speaker. I don’t mind it really that much on the street as I will pass by them in haste, but on a train it’s pure torture; specially if you have had a bad day at work.
And I’m a music lover myself, but I know that not everyone likes some of the music I listen to. That’s why they made this brilliant invention called head phones, if you have to play the music outside.

Suicide cyclists
So far the most extreme cyclists or cyclist culture I’ve encountered is the one in Amsterdam. These cyclists seems to be having some kind of death wish or hoping that someone will pick a fight with them or something. They will more or less not stop at nothing and will ring their bells like mad if you don’t get out of the way. I respect that they have their own paths and I even “share” them when I ride my longboard. In the beginning I feared them and stepped out of the way even when I was crossing a pedestrian crossing and they should have stopped for me. Now I’ve patience and more or less give them an evil stare that says something like: “It’s red for you, green for me and I’m crossing this road now. If you run into me all hell will break lose, so bring it on.”

I will walk all over you if I have to
For some reason that is really odd to me is that some Dutch have this I’m walking here and have no intentions moving even if it means we will bump into each other. It’s like they don’t see longer than their nose and lack peripheral vision. And of course, it’s your fault that you didn’t move even if you tried to.

Let me please run you over
If you for any chance walk into the street and a car is coming straight for you, you will for sure the run over. I thought Norwegians were selfish in the traffic, but as I’ve been here for a year now I’ve been proven so wrong. Their cars has two functions; full stop and full gas. They don’t even slow down when they come to speed bumps. They actually gladly ram them. It seems like if they use some kind of vehicle, they for some reason change. Almost like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde effect.

Obey the law at all cost
I’ve been riding skateboards, inlines, bmx and quads since I was 10-12 years old. I can’t remember if I’ve ever been chased away or been told off for doing it. I’ve lived here for one year and I’ve been told off by an officer that I was riding in the wrong direction on the bike path with my longboard, even if I was squeezing myself to the right, the other side was being worked on (as in sandy and unfriendly for skateboards), I wasn’t the only one and there were few bikes coming my direction. For a few days ago I was told off by a train conductor that I shouldn’t ride my board on the platform. For your information I was cruising in walking speed and it was almost empty for people.
I’ve also been ticketed for jaywalking. As in, the pedestrian crossing light turned red and I rushed over and the police actually stopped me, told me off and gave me a ticket. I didn’t get killed or cause a dangerous situation, but still I get a ticket for it. I’m not sure, but it might be illegal in Norway and Sweden too, but the police really don’t care about it as car drivers has a responsibility to not hit someone who is smaller than themselves and to avoid accidents; and they have better things to do than writing out silly tickets. It’s just childish way thinking people will respect the law. From my point of view it rather has an opposite effect.
I have also spotted the police staking out places where they know they can ticket the most people for a misdemeanour; instead of focusing on other crimes that is really bad for the society. And if they really enjoy going after misdemeanour crimes they should go after those who don’t pick up their dog’s poo.

Dog shit on the pavement
It is illegal to not pick up your dog’s poo, but you will be amazed how much the streets are filled with it here. I’m shocked and disgusted. And there’s really not much to say about it.

This is generally what I can come up with now that more or less annoys me about the Dutch. And now on to the mixed good and neutral stuff, which shouldn’t be too much.

Goedemorgen
In smaller cities, or other cities than Amsterdam you might be greeted by a stranger saying “goedemorgen” (good morning in Dutch). It’s a strange thing and took me a while to get used to. And it’s not until now I dare to be the one saying goedemorgen first. I really don’t know why they do it, as based on my negative experiences it seems like a contradiction. But a friend of mine, Don Keyshot, explained it to me as stand off or a icebreaker. Because it more or less happens when you and another stranger meets alone in a street. Kind of like showing to each other that you mean no harm and are friend and not foe.
They don’t only do it in the morning, but I mostly experience it in the morning, as I’m a lazy geek I tend to stay at home at night.

Hello dear stranger
It hasn’t been until now I’ve been proven that the Dutch can be extremely rude and unfriendly, but the Dutch who are friendly are extremely friendly to you. They tend to be more open towards strangers than I’m used to from Norway. They can even start a conversation with you on the train, but it has only happened to me ones, which was with was with someone who also is an expat.
As mentioned, sadly I’ve been proven wrong on that all Dutch are extremely nice, as those who are rude, mean or whatever negative trait you can come up with they do it to the extreme.

Show me the jobs
This is something that might be because I’m Norwegian and is fluent in speaking and writing Norwegian, English and Swedish, but it’s very easy to get a job here. A lot easier than it is in Norway and Sweden. The weaknesses in Norway is that they focus too much on education and don’t think experience is worth anything; and in Sweden it is almost impossible to get a full time job or a job at all (based on my experience and what our dear newspapers tell me from both countries).
Of course, you are in another country with difficult language, so people will try to screw you over. So be careful.

Give me more food
Most Norwegian flock to Sweden to buy cheaper food. I was shocked when I came here that the food here is even cheaper sometimes. Of course, fruit and vegetables has a very varying quality.

That’s that I guess
This is more or less what I can think of at the moment, taking into consideration that it’s late, I’m tired and I’ve been working my arse of at the office. And I’m a bit shocked I don’t have more mentionable neutral/good things to say about The Netherlands and the Dutch. I wish I had, but as of now I sadly don’t.
Of course, I could probably write a small book about how the government and the health insurance really makes me want to scream, but you just got a small taste of it when I told you about the police.

Based on what I wrote you might see I’m questioning if I should stay or not. Well. I’m stubborn and I hate giving up without a fight, so I will give it another +/- 1 year. I have gotten the taste for travel and learned how easy it is to move to another country as long as you have some money in your pocket, a job and a place to stay.

Of course, things have changed since I met Lizzie. Really changed for the good. In other words, since I moved to The Netherlands things have just headed in one direction for me. I’m very happy I more or less forced myself to find a job in The Netherlands and moving down their instead of doing like most people do, have it as a dream that will sadly never be fulfilled.

I just hope I haven’t stepped on too many toes with this post, but as they say, in the end you know who your friends are. And as I love to quote from, Lady Sovereign’s song Love Me Or Hate Me:
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

Take care now people.
I’ll try to write something less “negative” another day. (^_^)